Street Names

I was thinking how my family instinctively renames all our local streets with ones we prefer to say. Its a naturally ocurring phenomena among both Mastandreas and Fatones. Steve Fatone coined the infamous "North-cake Blvd" and "Jerk-man Rd." in Florida. In Ohio, Jonny-Cat barrells down "Bagel-y Rd."  So I thought its about time to share the names of some the beautiful winding Georgia roads I frequent on a daily basis.

1. Art MacFarlane Blvd.   Is actually just Macfarlane Blvd, but I just can't help it. When I see it I don't think of Seth MacFarlane, the voice of Peter Griffin. I only think of the 70's N.Y. news anchor, who shared his news desk with Ernie Anastis, Bill Beutel and Roger Grimsby.

2. "WHO IS Stan Gault Memorial Highway" Is actually Judge Stan Gault Highway. But seriously who is he...and its a good thing Ayn Rand went with John Galt as her novel's hero. Stan Gault sounds like a guy who sells Bulova watches.

3. "I'm headin down the Atlanta Highway....."  You are, in fact headed down the Atlanta Highway, its only about two blocks from my house. You will sing proudly it as if you are a member of the B-52s, but just the single verse...which will inevitably evolve into a chorus of Rock Lobster. Why? I have no idea.

4. Hulkamania Bridge Rd.  On my commute, I get off at Holcomb Bridge Road (Exit 7 on GA-400 which is named "the Hospitality Highway" which in itself is funny). But when I see the exit sign I can't help but get in my Hulkster voice and scream "Whatcha gonna do when the Hulkamania Bridge...explodes..on you?!!"

So next time you're in my are and spot the aforementioned avenues, I expect to hear each one aloud.

How do I blog?

Seems pretty straight forward. You look around your deranged life...and than you describe it.

1. Why? Well, to share my life with those care to hear about it. We all know I'm a magnet for the insane and absurd. This offers an opportunity to permanently record memories so that we can still discuss them over antipasta when I'm a septagenerian.

2. Will there be any political conversation here? Very unlikely. These days the political climate has become increasingly more serious and citizens ever more sensitive. Who wants to be serious? Not this guy.

3. Is our English Bulldog Maddie actually Italian? Yes, I'm pretty sure like myself she traces her roots to the town of Giovanazzo near Bari. How do I know? Last time I made sauce, I offered her a taste after only six hours on the stove...and she politely declined.  After exactly eight hours she returned to the stove and barked at the pot until I put a little in her bowl.  She enthusiastically approved of its taste and consistency. And we all know according to my cousin Joe in Pennsylvania.... a sauce should never be inconsistent.

4. Will there be references to movies and songs without any explanation? Definitely. However, if there is any confusion, simply ask and I will be happy to explain where the hell the quote came from...its unlikely I will have any rational explanation as to why I said it.

5. Do I want readers to comment and respond? ABSOLUTELY.

6. Lets let the games begin.